This one is from our friends from http://sorry4theblog.com/a-conditioned-mind/
A woman’s conditioned mind is hard to escape. Being a woman, I’ve learned that the idea of “love” was deeply engraved in my subconscious as a young girl and as a woman today it is still part of me. Although, I continue to beam my light of consciousness and awareness on it, it continues to run and live within me. For most women, the idea of wearing a white dress and walking down the aisle as the prince charming awaits with a smile on his face is somewhat a dream instilled in us from a very young age.
Marriage is a word women begin to learn about from as young as 8 years old. We are programmed to feel the need to be loved, the need to feel we are special and the need to be wanted by a man and ultimately, to become the end all be all of his kingdom.
Being on this self-discovery journey is exactly that….a journey. As a search to feel whole, I sometimes struggle with my feelings. I’ve realized although, I am confident and know my worth, I am still a woman with a conditioned mind. A conditioned mind that I continue to unfold and untangle in hopes of finding my true self. I am aware that the word “woman” and “love” have an undeniable common denominator that we as woman need to further understand. No matter where we come from, what country, economic background or education level, somehow our attachment to the idea of love is very similar.
As I grow and continue to find myself, I want to be able to decipher when the need for love is just a human instinct and me in my natural nurturing self versus when it feels like a void that is unhealthy and can only be satisfied by a man’s love. I want to be as sure and clear about my idea of “love” as I am about every other area of my life.
I profoundly believe in love and true pure love. A connection that is genuine, kind, gentle but also has its hardships that ultimately lead to beautiful growth and bond between two beings. I have learned that for two souls to align in a way that it sustains all of life’s obstacles, both souls need to be clear. Clear on what a companionship is outside of what we see on TV, Novelas, Disney movies and reality television. I am lover, and the percentage of divorces in the US was a disheartening fact until I began to understand that we as the human race aren’t doing enough inner work. If you aren’t aware of who you truly are, how can I really know who I am marrying? How is that a sustainable relationship when I don’t own or understand my flaws? How can I know the being I am in love with isn’t a false projection of who you are? Am I in love with you or just a mirror of what society has taught you to be?
Becoming clear on love has been my focus for a couple months now. I am learning to be clear in a way that I am wholeheartedly who I was intended to be by my creator. I am learning to align my personality with my divine powerful self (soul).
& I suggest you do the same. Both males and females. But most importantly, my queens, who are lovers. Please start understanding what love means to you vs. what society has told you it is and has to be. Love passionately but first understand what love is. Not that fairy tale love, or the love that hurts you. If you want love, learn more about yourself, your worth and your being. Love starts with you.
This was the first stage of my love journey and boy have I learned a lot. Social constructs were created by humans but we’re more than just humans, we are soul. Listen to your core and ask it the right questions. Continue to grow into yourself and most importantly learn to LOVE that person un-conditionally.
Peace & Love
Listed below are some questions that I have answered that has shed light on a lot.
What is love? Your definition; spend time on this one.
What does love mean to you?
Where and from whom have you received the purest truest feeling of what you believe love to be?
Is that what you have received in your previous or current companionship?
Why or why not? Have you demanded it, or have you only continuously given unlimited amount of it expecting it back?
What does the man that deserves you, look, smell, talk, dress and feel like? Settling is bullshit, don’t do it
Do you deserve that amazing man you described above? Keep growing and make sure of it
By Randell Z. Dauda
Let me introduce you to another side of a society trying to rebuild itself after years of civil wars. An era where degrees means absolutely nothing when you have a look to accompany it You walk into an office with all the right credentials and you're asked "who's taking care of you" Sitting there, you start to think ‘Am I sick? Why do I need care?’
This is the normal way of asking who is your significant other, love interest or sponsor. In Liberia, a sponsor is usually someone giving you financial contributions that is significantly older than you and therefore does not meet the requirement for a boyfriend. I guess one can call the man-friend. These are the equivalent of sugar daddies in the West. To be sitting in front of a government official hoping you can land a position in Civil Service only to be asked about your personal life can be such a drawback. There were no talks about my experiences or job expectations. He did not inquire about areas of study or specializations. He did not even flip the pages of the resume. Instead, he commented on your "beautiful long legs" and his intention to take you to lunch. How could you continue this conversation with a degree of respect for his office without allowing him to harass you? The African culture reminds you to always be respectful to your elder, but right there in that room, was he even considered anything less than a poor excuse for a man? He continued to diverge the conversation with a focus on your personal wellbeing.
Your credential sits idly in the folder you purchased from the book store of your Alma matter in hopes of impressing your potential boss. Your mind runs through the pages of your resume with vast study abroad experiences, some volunteer work, a start-up social enterprise and a master’s degree that could serve as great conversation starters. Instead your look is the center of discussion. In what world does looks overshadow the fact that I'm a female with a master’s degree in a country where approximately 73%* of all women and girls are illiterate? So you sit and wait for the nightmare interview to be over. You keep starring at his face for a sign that this is all one big joke. Sadly, this is not a joke and you are reminded when he reaches over the desk in hopes of touching your hands. He makes shameless proposal to take you to lunch accompany with a crooked smile.
In a state of disgust, you pull your hands away and stand up to leave. In a regular interview this would have been considered rude, but this is no regular interview. Your concerns are not whether you are rude or a good candidate for the job. You leave because there has to be another way. You want to join the work force in Liberia desperately, but you will not compromise your values or join a culture where women can only become something because a man lets you. Today, you took the walk out of that office because you want to walk into a place where your merits elevate you and not your body. Today, you lost the opportunity to work towards change in Liberia, but you stumble across a motivation to strive for a better Liberia; a Liberia where you will be judge solely on your credentials. My name is Randell Z. Dauda and I am glad I took that walk in 2013. Today, I sit behind a desk at one of the only two government institutions of higher learning as the head Registrar. I got here because my education, experiences and worth ethics
By Komlan Aloysh
My fellow Americans –
I write this message because I believe we share a unique identity: being American. This unique identity infinitely bonds us together because it is greater than everything else. It is above all else, and it bonds us together because we all see greatness in this land of ours.
I know the past few months have tested this unique bond. It is not that this unique bond is breakable or fragile to the point that it can fade away, but because it has been tested to a point where we all seem to lose a sense of its meaning and who we really are as a people. No doubt that elections can sometimes bring out the strongest emotions in us, and make us see each other through the prism of political affiliation or ideological belief. They also make it hard for us to swallow the bitter pills of our defeats. They appear as though everything we believe in is zero-sum – one group of fellow citizens wins and the other group loses all. This makes times like these hard for us all, not only for those who lost in this election.
I am not here to tell whose political ideology is right or wrong for this great country that we all love so much. I am not here to preach for one side or the other, nor am I here to tell who is patriotic and who is not. I am simply here to speak of what makes this great nation of ours great and how our unique identity as American must transcend our current political and ideological divide that is in this moment bringing out the worst in us all.
I know there comes a time - every four years - when we are forced to see our fellow citizens as Republicans or Democrats, Liberals or Conservatives. Some of us try our utmost best to stay above this childish partisan fighting and name-calling, but unfortunately we find ourselves being constantly dragged into them more often, time and again. It is agonizing sometimes, I can tell you that, but that is not who we are. We are uniquely #Americans, people who wake up every morning filled with hopes and dreams to touch the sky, dreams to build the next groundbreaking technological device, dreams to start the next biggest company, or write the next greatest speech for history books; people who see the love of country and of their fellow citizens through the eyes of their beautiful daughters and sons; people who share a cup of coffee with their new neighbors; people who open their homes to strangers whom they have met for the first time. That’s who we are. That is what makes us Americans.
Despite our petty and irrelevant ideological differences, we share a bond and love this nation. Whether you are black or white, young or old, we all love this country very much. You too love this country, a place where Barack Obama served eight years as our president; a place where Donald Trump is now our president; a place where Nikki Haley, first generation Indian-American, can become our nation’s top diplomat; and a place where dreams are realized regardless of one’s background.
I am not; in anyway, ignoring your disgust of what is happening now. Nor am I downplaying the post-election chaos that we currently see around us. I am simply reminding us all that we are ONE PEOPLE, ONE NATION with a COMMON DESTINY. We are not perfect people, and so is this nation, but we must work together to make it even better.
Let's embrace this unique Americanness! Let us talk to each other and find common ground for the future of our country! Certainly, we may not agree with each other, nor will we be able to find solutions to all of our problems. But let us begin! Let us continue to improve this great nation by performing our civic duties as citizens!
Whether you voted #Trump or #Hillary, let’s remember we are all Americans, and that matters more than anything. The time has come for all of us to work together to move this nation forward. Let’s begin by listening to each to find common ground! This may not be for our own sakes, but at least let that be for the stake of our beloved nation, America.
Our nation needs us now more than ever before. Let’s make it proud!